Fans may have gotten all in a tizzy over Kristen Stewart's recent real-life indiscretions, but Robert Pattinson hasn't exactly been the most faithful soul either, at least cinematically.
R.Pattz has more than a few notches on his belt on the big screen, including "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1" and his new head trip "Cosmopolis," and we're going to count every single salacious piece of tail this sparkly vampire has sunk his teeth, among other things, into.
'Vanity Fair' (2004)
Character: Rawdy Crawley
Number of Conquests: 0
Although his scenes were deleted and only available as an alternate ending on the DVD, this film is notable for being Pattinson's first major appearance and his first role alongside Reese Witherspoon. He briefly plays the son of her literary heroine Becky Sharp, a pairing that would come back to haunt him later in his career.
'Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire' (2005)
Character: Cedric Diggory
Number of Conquests: 0
What did you think? This is a "Harry Potter" movie for crying out loud, not "Mary Hotter and Deathly Swallows." As a prominent member of the House of Hufflepuff, Pattinson's Diggory is a good-looking, athletic alpha male whom Harry watches get dispatched unceremoniously by the Dark Lord. Before that, though, Cedric was dating the beautiful Cho Chang, but we highly doubt they did more than snog in the Room of Requirement.
'How to Be' (2008)
Character: Art
Number of Conquests: 0
As the sullen, confused protagonist of this quirky indie, Pattinson has a girlfriend who breaks up with him in the opening minutes, and the closest he gets to any kind of intimacy is an odd scene where he climbs into bed with his parents under the advisement of an eccentric therapist. AWK-WARD.
'Twilight' (2008)
Character: Edward Cullen
Number of Conquests: 0
The film that formed the sacred, boundless love between Bella Swan and vampire Edward Cullen also made them poster children for modern abstinence. Yeah. That's no good for our purposes. NEXT!
MORE UNDER THE CUT
Little Ashes' (2009)
Character: Salvador Dalí
Number of Conquests: 3
If you thought casting Pattinson as an 18-year-old iteration of famed Spanish surrealist painter/mustache owner Dalí seemed like oddball, left-field casting you were… well, right. Still, the "Twilight" star got to engage in some satisfying lovemaking with Arly Hover (playing wife Gala Dalí) and Magdalena (Marina Gatell), with a little male attention from poet Federico García Lorca (Javier Beltran) just to even the bisexual playing field.
'The Twilight Saga: New Moon' (2009)
Character: Edward Cullen
Number of Conquests: 0
Edward still hasn't landed his dream babe in the sack, but does manage to pop the question. Patience, Twi-hards, patience…
Summit
Character: Tyler Hawkins
Number of Conquests: 1
This movie became notorious as the "Robert Pattinson gets killed on 9/11" movie, but people forget it's also a touching, Nicholas Sparks-esque tale of tragic love among beautiful-looking young people. In this case, R.Pattz romances 21-year-old NYU student Ally (Emilie De Ravin) in what was originally intended to be a hit-and-run relationship but blossoms into the real deal… that is, until those pesky hijackers tear their love asunder.
'The Twilight Saga: Eclipse' (2010)
Character: Edward Cullen
Number of Conquests: 0
One more sequel means one more baby step towards the marital bed, with Bella finally agreeing to Edward's terms of endearment (a.k.a. getting her neck bit). Despite some romantic rivalry from Team Jacob and the wolfpack, by the end of this movie, it becomes clear that Edward will get his way… in the next film.
Fox
'Water for Elephants' (2011)Character: Jacob Jankowski
Number of Conquests: 1
Remember how Pattinson played Reese Witherspoon's son in "Vanity Fair?" Well, in this one he plays her studly, sensitive young lover. (EW!) The onscreen chemistry between Witherspoon, playing circus star Marlena Rosenbluth, and Pattinson's animal vet is virtually non-existent, although they do overcome great odds, as well as the wrath of one seriously psychotic Christoph Waltz.
'The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1' (2011)
Character: Edward Cullen
Number of Conquests: 1
At long last, the headboard-busting, feather-flying consummation of one of the most blue ball-inducing courtships since time began. Fans loved the chemistry during Edward and Bella's romantic Honeymoon tryst in Brazil, and fantasized about how many fertility pills they'd need to take to get pregnant as fast as Bella does in the movie.
'Bel Ami' (2012)
Character: Georges Duroy
Number of Conquests: 5
In this 1800s period piece, Pattinson plays Georges Duroy, a completely amoral scoundrel who porks his way right up the Parisienne social food chain. He manages to bed some of the hottest (and milfiest) talent in Hollywood, including (take a deep breath ladies) Natalia Tena, Christina Ricci, Uma Thurman, Kristin Scott Thomas and Holliday Grainger. No more Mr. Abstinence.
Entertainment One'Cosmopolis' (2012)
Character: Eric Packer
Number of Conquests: 2.5
In the latest excursion into the erotically-charged bizarro world of David Cronenberg's head, Pattinson plays Parker, a billionaire business dude cruising through Manhattan looking to indulge every self-destructive impulse he has. This includes getting it on with his bodyguard (Patricia McKenzie), his art adviser (Juliette Binoche), and a little kinky foreplay with his chief of finance (Emily Hampshire) whilst getting a prostate exam in the back of his limo.
TOTAL CAREER SEX ACTS: 13.5
Pattinson started off his movie career relatively chaste onscreen, but seems determined to play the field now that he's a "free agent," so to speak.
ENJOY.. Miko XD
GOD bless you
No comments:
Post a Comment